Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we're making bets on your personal life
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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