Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Can you bring me the toilet please
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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