Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
