There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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