My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So squirting runs in the family.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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