Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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