none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
