this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
