Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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