She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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