bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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