i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
