I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
