you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
