That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
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we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
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There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize