before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
