Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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