You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
