Someone shit on the floor
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
