Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
