What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
