Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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