dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Oh god it's open bar.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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