You work out of a Hotel?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
