you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we made out on top of his cat.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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