My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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