I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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