he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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