A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
