I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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