The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
