Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
