Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
