omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
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Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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