Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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