I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
