I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
