Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
