How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
