how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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