I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
