and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
