did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
someone threw a dead crab at me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
