we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
