if i can run in heels then i can drive
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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