Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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