thus making me awesome and them whores
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize