addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
