I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
