I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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