last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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