He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
