Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
