I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
