false alarm. still invincible.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i drank out of a bidet.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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