Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
