PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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