You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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