That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
