maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize