i just had sex bonerless
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
