HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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