I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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