5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
