Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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