I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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