singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
