yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
