called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
