I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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