He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My vagina is very pro this idea
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
