why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
