there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I currently don't understand fingers.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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